What I Deserve

This is what I’ve longed for.
This is what I’ve silently begged for
after every tear-soaked pillowcase
felt me drift off into sleep.
I’ve cried out for this
on cool summer nights
and ever colder evenings
scattered throughout every other season.
I’ve demanded that
my body would never
quiver
that my stomach would never
constrict
that the breath in my lungs would never
stutter
they way it had so many times before.
This is what I deserve.


-Amber