I Just Want to Hold You

 

I just want to hold you, but you’re nowhere near my arms
A thousand miles away resides your sweetness and your charms
And though I see you nightly through a camera on the web
I’d still much rather see you under blankets in my bed

I just want to hold you, cuddle up into the nook
Allow myself to touch your face instead of just to look
I know that this will happen daily in a month or so
But time stops when you miss someone… a month will go so slow!

I just want to hold you, but my dear, you’re worth the wait
I’ll settle for your presence over thirty more Skype dates!
But be assured that when you’re finally wrapped in my embrace,
I’ll kiss you, hug you, squeeze so hard, you’ll turn blue in the face! :-P

*Amber

He Always Knows!

He always knows just what to say
or how to glance the proper way
to lift my spirits, make me grin
and make me happier within.
He does this every single day…
He always knows!

 *Amber

Writer's Block

 

Where is my inspiration?
Racing through my mind is a whole lot of the usual.
Interesting?
The “usual” was interesting the first time I wrote about it.
Even the second time.
Ranting through a pen is supposed to satisfy a writer all the time though, right?
‘Spose not.

Broken-record scenarios are boring to write about after a while.
Love is too cliché.
Opinions only work if you have something to be opinionated about.
Complaining always works, though!
Keeping that in mind will help me out, I’m sure.

*Amber

If Heaven is a Real Place

 

I am not a cheater. I am not a fraud.
I am not a killer. No lies are ever jawed.
I’m not rude to strangers, family or friends.
If ever there’s a problem, I try to make amends.
I don’t have sex for money, only sex for love.
The things I do each day, are things that I’m proud of.
I don’t go to church on Sundays, or confess to God my sins.
I don’t say a prayer each morning before my day begins.

I believe in science. I believe in facts.
I don’t believe in any of the spiritual “contracts.”

I am a good person, and I lead a good life,
but death will only bring upon me damnation and strife?
If God is a true being, who’s done all that is perceived,
wouldn’t he have made me so that I would just believe?
Curious and truth-seeking is how I live each day,
but if there IS a God, HE made me this way.
So when that one day comes, when the life in me abates,
I would think that God would let me in the pearly gates.

No one being is perfect, I’m certainly not,
but if Heaven is a real place, I think I’ll deserve a spot.

*Amber

Love Bush

Let’s be cliché and compare love to a rose,
it becomes more and more beautiful
as it continues to grow.

It starts its life shy as the roots are first birthed
but it becomes a bit stronger
as it breaks through the earth.

With time, pedals form and blossom into
a sight of such beauty
that’s long overdue.

Because everyone waits for the flower to bloom,
but few actually see
beauty in the bush, too.

The bush grows full first, with the leaves and the thorns;
the essential components
for true love to be born.

If the thorns, leaves, and stems are what make a love grow,
then one should enjoy
taking love slow.

Because the bigger the bush, the more beautiful flowers,
and less of a chance
that your love will go sour.

So build up the bush with your care and affection,
and sooner or later,
you’ll have love near perfection.

*Amber

The Warping of a Man Living Nine Years in the Mind

I saw a photo of him today.
Well, actually I saw a great deal of photos of him today
because once I stumbled upon one,
I had to dig out the photo albums and flip through pages of many.

It’s so foreign now for me to think
that at one point
that stranger staring at me in those photos
meant the world to me.

Nine years older and nine years wiser am I
than I was the last time I touched him.
Since the last time I got a hug,
a kiss on the cheek,
or a phone call.

I’ve missed him for nine years
and I will continue to miss him
for as many more years as I live.
But now I will miss him in a slightly different way.

See, for these past nine years
I have missed the man
that I wish he would be
if he were here.

But if he were here,
I realize that he would not be the man that I dream about.
When I look back in my mind, I see a fun-loving, happy, family man…
But when I look back at the pictures, I see a cold reminder of what was reality.

He loved me,
I’m sure of that.
But he wasn’t ready for the responsibility
of loving me.

Because if he was ready…
If he was REALLY ready
to devote himself to loving me…
than I would have more than just a memory of him today.

I look at those photos
dated ten and twenty years back,
and a force in my chest
sends chills down my spine.

That man created me
with his love for a woman.
But I don’t think he was really ready
for the responsibility of devoting himself
to loving her either.

What he did love was
euphoria, ecstasy, and pleasure
incomparable to anything that couldn’t be placed in a spoon,
dissolved into water,
and injected into his bloodstream.

I’ve known this since I was old enough to understand…
But for some reason I thought that if he was still here,
things would be different.
And maybe they would be…
But I will never get the chance to know,
and that makes a whirl of emotions tear apart my heart.

It was just so strange to see those pictures…
Pictures of a man who looked exactly like I last saw him in person…
But nothing like the man that I’ve seen in my mind
for the past nine years.

 

*Amber